I’m told this blog is really supposed to be about me, but I had to let you know about this: I’m really excited because I’ve just heard that my cousin Ricardo’s Mum and Dad gave him a new baby boy this morning! He’s called Andreas, he was born in a pool at home (sounds fun!) and we’re going to go and visit him tomorrow.
At last I’m not the baby of the family any more.
Sunday 21 October 2007
Sunday 14 October 2007
Third Person
Why do I find myself referring to myself in the third person when talking to Ainsworth? It's something I'd heard others do and hoped I'd never do myself, but instinctively I refer to myself as "Daddy" instead of as "I".
Why would I do such a thing?
Why would I do such a thing?
Friday 12 October 2007
Sharing the workload
Okay, here's where blogging gets difficult. We said we wanted this to be about our feelings as we learn to be a family, but so far it's all been a bit happy, easy-going, lovey-dovey stuff. Let's get serious.
The last week or so has been really hard work. And not because of ill health, although that has been a factor. (AJ is much improved, though still coughing and a little chesty, and I am recovering from a pretty nasty flu thing.)
The simple fact is, I've been a bit rubbish. Folk who know us will probably think of me as a good, modern, hands-on dad who plays his part and takes his share of the work. Well, they're sadly mistaken. When it comes down to it, Rachael does everything. Okay, so I'll change nappies when I get the chance, and I'll take time to play with Ainsworth and try to get to know him. But who actually makes all the decisions around here? And who does the vast majority of the work? Don't look at me, folks.
How often have I planned what Ainsworth will eat, and when? Even what he should wear? What's going to be our strategy for those difficult night-time sessions? Hmm. I guess I have taken a back seat on all of this sort of stuff. A back seat? Hey, I've barely got on board.
So, why do I do this? Why do I let Rachael get on and organise and do everything, and sit back and just expect it all to happen, allowing resentment to build and bad feelings to brew? I wish I wish I wish I knew. It's not only been since Ainsworth has been around; this has been a recurring pattern of our married life, but when it comes to children it seems that I'm leaving things to her on the basis that I expect her to know what she's doing. As she's quite correctly pointed out, she's making this all up as she's going along, too.
Rachael said this morning that she'd decided she was coping perfectly well on her own at the moment. If I felt like contributing, she'd take whatever I felt I could offer.
How on earth have I let things reach this state?
The last week or so has been really hard work. And not because of ill health, although that has been a factor. (AJ is much improved, though still coughing and a little chesty, and I am recovering from a pretty nasty flu thing.)
The simple fact is, I've been a bit rubbish. Folk who know us will probably think of me as a good, modern, hands-on dad who plays his part and takes his share of the work. Well, they're sadly mistaken. When it comes down to it, Rachael does everything. Okay, so I'll change nappies when I get the chance, and I'll take time to play with Ainsworth and try to get to know him. But who actually makes all the decisions around here? And who does the vast majority of the work? Don't look at me, folks.
How often have I planned what Ainsworth will eat, and when? Even what he should wear? What's going to be our strategy for those difficult night-time sessions? Hmm. I guess I have taken a back seat on all of this sort of stuff. A back seat? Hey, I've barely got on board.
So, why do I do this? Why do I let Rachael get on and organise and do everything, and sit back and just expect it all to happen, allowing resentment to build and bad feelings to brew? I wish I wish I wish I knew. It's not only been since Ainsworth has been around; this has been a recurring pattern of our married life, but when it comes to children it seems that I'm leaving things to her on the basis that I expect her to know what she's doing. As she's quite correctly pointed out, she's making this all up as she's going along, too.
Rachael said this morning that she'd decided she was coping perfectly well on her own at the moment. If I felt like contributing, she'd take whatever I felt I could offer.
How on earth have I let things reach this state?
Monday 1 October 2007
Poorly boy
The weekend was brilliant. Ainsworth was a superstar, guests enjoyed themselves, a great time was had by all. But there's not time to report the details now, so I'll save that until later (unless Rachael beats me too it).
But after the excitement of the weekend, Ainsworth is a bit poorly today. Rachael and I have both had colds in the last week or so, and he's resisted until now, but today he's been coughing and sniffly and not been able to settle for most of the day. Virtually no solid food has passed his lips, and come bedtime he would hardly even take his milk. One thing that has passed his lips is his first ever dose of Calpol. (At thirty weeks and a day, I don't think we've done too badly!) He eventually went to sleep and has been pretty settled for a couple of hours, but I'm not holding out much hope for a very peaceful night.
We're just very glad it didn't develop yesterday when we were busy to entertaining a hundred guests!
But after the excitement of the weekend, Ainsworth is a bit poorly today. Rachael and I have both had colds in the last week or so, and he's resisted until now, but today he's been coughing and sniffly and not been able to settle for most of the day. Virtually no solid food has passed his lips, and come bedtime he would hardly even take his milk. One thing that has passed his lips is his first ever dose of Calpol. (At thirty weeks and a day, I don't think we've done too badly!) He eventually went to sleep and has been pretty settled for a couple of hours, but I'm not holding out much hope for a very peaceful night.We're just very glad it didn't develop yesterday when we were busy to entertaining a hundred guests!
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